Her Diamonds
by CastAsideOstracized
Summary: Post Aliyah, Tony's struggle to come to terms with the fact that Ziva isn't around. Super Tiva :D
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: There is a Zive POV for all of this that my bestie is writing. I'll post up a link to that when I post up the next chapter :)

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Tony buckled himself into the uncomfortable seat that he would occupy all the way back to DC from Tel Aviv but his gut was telling him he'd need....no....he'd want to rip it all off soon. He wasn't wrong as he looked towards the open end of the carrier to see Gibbs doing his "take this puppy up" hand motion.

"One short, boss?" he asked nervously, looking around for Ziva.

"Nope." Gibbs was never one for explanations.

As their carrier began to shut, Tony strained to see past Director Vance just in time to see Ziva's face, with a stunned expression, turn to hide the tears. All he could see was her neatly tied hair and the backside he recognized all too well. The carried shut and he saw the last of the back of her head as he fought back the tears. He just decided to sleep, he couldn't say a word. What was he going to tell Abby...McGee...Ducky..? Gibbs sure as hell wasn't going to tell them.

Tony looked across the aisle at his boss, asleep but not peacefully like on their flight to Panama*, he looked troubled, as if he was having a nightmare. He looked to his side to see the director, toothpick between his lips, head bobbling a bit to one side, eyes closed but still intimidating. 'How do they do that...' Tony thought to himself, making faces to mimic theirs, attempting to be vicious, fierce but clearly that bugged someone because--

"DiNozzo! What are you doing?" Gibbs looked at him as if he was a monkey doing tricks, "You look stupid..."

But he didn't want to stop, made that face right at his boss. He couldn't understand why the death glare had no effect this time. He just looked into this boss's eyes and said in a clearly mocking voice, "I thought I'd try to understand what the seat does to everyone close to it, _sir_. Just trying to see what 'no man left behind' means to those on the big seat, _sir_."

Gibbs expression softened but he didn't say a word, he just leaned back and closed his eyes again. No further objection? No head slap? Ziva wasn't coming back...and Gibbs felt guilty. Hurt, maybe?

The plane ride and the trip back to NCIS was a blur to Tony, but it all caught up to him when he found his friends all waiting for him and Ziva. As he watched their smiles fade as he told them that Ziva would not be returning and as everyone went back to their desks and labs, Tony wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed.

He didn't even bother telling Gibbs, if the man knew everything, he would know. He muttered a halfhearted goodbye to McGee and looked over to Ziva's empty desk for only a split second before briskly walking out.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Those of you who want to read Ziva's POV of all of this (they will match up as the story goes along), here is a link .net/s/5355725/1/Shattered

Thanks for reading :)

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The neighbor's music was going as usual, heard in the hallway but Tony knew as soon as he shut his front door behind him, there would be only silence and himself. He walked into his apartment and his first thoughts were of the first time he had brought her over. She had put her coat down and walked directly to the window and opened it, complaining of the dust.

He did the same, noticing the same dust that had bothered her. The sunshine poured in but didn't brighten a thing. Turning around, Tony chuckled to himself, the sun was shining directly on a pair of earrings Ziva had left at his place ages ago. They glimmered and he didn't dare move them. He walked to his room, obvious signs of her presence were all over the place. Although she hadn't been there in months, almost a year, he hadn't moved a thing.

In the bathroom, he washed his face and brushed his teeth, staring the entire time at all the things in the bathroom that belonged to her. Toothbrush, face wash, conditioner, curler...she just left everything there. He walked to his room where it was no better. Pictures of their adventures covered the walls. Bowling with Abby, L.A., weekend getaways to the beach, picnics. His favorite was on his nightstand next to his alarm. They were at the beach, both barefoot, Ziva in her bikini, Tony in swim trunks, he was giving her a piggy back ride, they were both laughing, they looked so happy. Abby had taken it. They had all gone. Hell, even Gibbs showed up even if it was just to come get them for a case.

He stripped down to his boxers and lay in bed, reaching under the pillow for a piece of fabric, a scarf. It still smelled like her, he held it tight as a tear rolled down his cheek and he drifted off into an uneasy slumber.

Even in his sleep, he couldn't escape reality. He dreamt of the times they'd spent together, especially the time at the beach. He could almost feel her skin and the warmth of the sun. Her laughter rang out in his head and he awoke with a start, searching for her in the dark of his bedroom. His heart beat so hard, he was sure it would give out sometime during the night. Sipping some water, he tried to calm down.

As he drifted off into sleep again, he found himself with Ziva, sitting on her couch. She was resting her dead on his shoulder, his arm around her. They had been watching movies all night since they knew they had the next day off. His arm lay protectively around her slender frame, resting on his hip. He knew she had to be asleep. He felt a slight wetness on his shoulder, she was crying. He kept asking what was wrong but didn't get an answer. Tony was so worried, "Ziva...Zi...Zi tell me what's wrong...please..." He jolted awake again, this time to find that he had been crying and his shoulder and pillow were soaked.

He wanted it to stop but there was nothing he could do. He just kept drifting off and waking, hoping to find her but she was never there. He knew he just had to wait it out, that was the price of love. All the movies said so. Tony laid his head down for round three of disturbed sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Hey guys, thanks for all the great feedback! Let me know if theres something specific I should work in, I love getting new ideas!

And if the link last time didn't work for some of you because I realize it was a bit broken, the story is called Shattered by hotbloodedbones

Its the Ziva POV of all this and we plan to sync our stories when they're in contact with each other.

Thanks for reading, keep it up :)

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Tony felt a little light headed as the elevator lit up the level lights as it steadily moved up to his floor. The lack of sleep plus his poor diet the last few days didn't help his emotional state at all. Coffee in hand, he stepped out of the open doors to see the all too familiar hustle of the squad room. His own desk sat neatly empty, as did Ziva's. He hadn't come into work yesterday, Gibbs hadn't called. Could his gut sense that Tony was too close to Ziva for his own good?

Tony began to settle in, looking across from him at the empty desk. She hadn't left a thing. He thought about all the times he had thrown bits of paper at her to break her concentration, the times he'd teased her, the times she had given him her signature 'Ziva' look.

"Dinozzo! Are you even listening to me?!" Gibbs was standing at the edge of his desk, obviously explaining something to Tony and McGee that was honestly a mystery to Tony. "That's what I thought....Grab your gear, we're headed to Little Creek."

Tony grabbed his stuff, thinking of Ziva all the while. Usually his motive was to make Gibbs talk during the car ride but today, he couldn't care less. He had to do his and Ziva's job but he wasn't doing either properly. He was too distracted to do anything right and he knew that.

It was to Tony's great relief that the case was a simple open and shut case, as sad as it might be. They had walked on to crime scene only to find a car crashed into a tree and a bloody driver in the front seat. No seatbelt, horrible airbag damage. As he mindlessly collected blood samples, took some pictures and helped McGee take measurements, he recollected all the times he and Ziva had taken advantage of 'easy' cases to take more time than they needed so they could have some downtime before a tough case came along. He couldn't pull that with uptight McGeek.

Before he knew it, they were back at the lab and he was too disoriented to remember if he had done all he needed to do. This was too much to take. He quickly flipped through the file to see that McGee and Gibbs had taken care of everything...Gibbs had done interviews..wow. He looked down at the cause of death, it read 'Drunk driving'. So that was it. Another man dead because he wasn't smart enough to know not to drink and drive. Even he knew that and he was....

"DINOZZO!" Gibbs was standing 5 inches from his face, "go home! Case is shut, get some sleep."

Maybe he did need it but he hated being home, seeing her everywhere. He needed some direction in his life...maybe tomorrow. Right now, he just needed some sleep and maybe a sandwich.


	4. Chapter 4

Hey everyone!

Thanks for reading, keep the reviews coming please, I need those. The story's really gonna start picking up here. Stay with me, Tiva fans!

Again, Ziva's POV is called "Shattered" by Hotbloodedbones

Thank you :)

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Two weeks had passed since they had left Ziva behind in Tel Aviv and it had definitely taken its toll on Tony. As he walked into this apartment after another blank day at work, he took in the smell of rotting pieces of food on his dirty dishes and the laundry that was piling up all over the place. He hadn't cleaned at all the entire time and he wasn't about to start now. No one was going to come here, it was hopeless.

He worked like a well programed robot. Work, eat, shower, sleep, repeat. He hopped into the shower only to find that there was no hot water left, dampening his day a bit more. Quickly giving himself a scrubbing all over, Tony stepped out and wrapped himself in a towel. Wondering what the foul smell was, he walked out to his room. The smell followed him which is when he realized he hadn't washed his towel this entire time.

"Wet dog smell...great..." Tony said out loud.

Dropping the towel in the middle of his room, he flopped down on his bed to take in the smell of his sweat and body wash. He closed his eyes, forcing the tears back. He knew it was unhealthy to hold the tears back that much but he couldn't start to accept that she was gone. She hadn't called, she hadn't written, even her scent was starting to fade from his belongings, being replaced with stale sweat and filth.

He let a few tears fall down his unshaven, worn face before burying it into his pillow, forcing himself into an uneasy slumber.

_Her face was floating in front of him, smiling her sly smile. It said so much yet had so much mystery. He reached out but she kept moving further and further, he chased her, never quite touching her. Just when he thought he had her, he could see her whole body in front of him, still smiling. Then, big hands moved around her waist, making her smile a brighter smile. He never made her smile like that. Micheal's face appeared over her shoulder, he kissed her face, holding her. They looked happy. _

"_Aren't you going to get that, Tony?" whispered Ziva's glowing form. She was playing with Micheal's hair, saying something in Hebrew but all the while starring at Tony. _

_Tony looked around wildly, searching for the noise Ziva had pointed out, a telephone ringing. It had to be Gibbs, he needed to get to a scene. _

"_Tony, get that phone call! Tony!" yelled Ziva, still with Micheal. _

_Tony searched frantically for the phone but couldn't find it until _*** **THUD *

Tony sat on the ground of his room, disoriented with the phone still ringing on his bedside table.

Reaching up with his eyes still closed, he murmured, "Hello...?"

The voice on the other end was soft and hurried, scared maybe, "Jean-Paul? It's Sophie. I got caught up at work, I need help getting home..."


End file.
